Week 9 Predictions (6/4/09)

[peckerslap time!]

Drunk Again vs Off Constantly
GAME OF THE WEEK!
Funny to have a game of the week between two “who gives a fuck” teams, but DA is coming off a huge upset against the Ligers and OC is coming off a quasi-upset of the kings of uselessness Mammal Toes. Although I think you both still suck, this should be a pretty evenly matched battle of sucktitude. DA has some serious momentum that I cannot ignore, but I expect them to show up with more than 12 people and have their usually shitty roster. I think when they stole the LigerSomalia flag some Liger rubbed off on them because they actually played quality kickball last week, so until they lose that flag I’m not betting against them...at least not against Off Constantly, the 3rd or 4th worst team in the league (there Harrison, you’re not the worst, congratulations!).
Tough call, but DA wins a close one, 4-3.


Orange Jubilee vs Kickin It
Nate and his bumbling band of retards from Kickin It think they’re good because they won a forfeit game last week and have beaten up on all the dogshit teams in the league. Seriously Scott/Pete, enough with this randomized scheduling bullshit...we want the marquee matchups guaranteed (i.e. Ligers vs SK/DB) and crap teams like this can’t float through the season at 5-2 cuz they didn’t have to play anyone worth a damn. That said, Ninja Cumstain I’ve had faith in you the last few weeks and I’m not making the mistake again...stop sucking for fuck’s sake.
Battle of mediocre teams is tough to call, but I say Kickin It wins over a theme-distracted OJ 6-4. I’m more interested to see how much man-jism Sensei manages to get on his face for this theme than I am on this game though.

Side note on OJ...as one Liger was rummaging a thrift store for the theme this week, he came across a Bling Bling Blue Raspberry shirt. Your ex-players don’t even hold onto their f’ing shirts?!??! You guys suck!


Playground Bullies vs Mammal Toes
Mammal Toes, I hate you for losing to Off Constantly. And if you can lose to Off Constantly, God knows you can lose to Playground Bullies, but PG has just taken in the ass too long this season to stop now. I’m rooting for you though PG.
PG bends over and takes it from Mammal Toes, 3-1, in a battle of meager offenses. I feel sorry for whoever refs this nonsense.


Scared Kickless vs RuPauls
SK is coming off the game of their lives in the rain and I don’t expect the momentum to slow against a frail Rupauls team. SK just don’t let it get to your heads cuz you’ve still never won a playoff game, suckers.
SK wins big, 8-1.


Das Boot vs Fuck You Fucksons
OK Ronsons, you probably didn’t deserve that, but I hate you because people actually believe you’re as good as us...you haven’t really done anything all season besides beat up on shitty teams and tie us in our 2nd worst game in (recent) Liger history. DB got served a wake-up call last week and on a dry field they will crush you, esp minus Olsen who really isn’t very good anyway. With him gone Scottie will likely run the show and he has no mercy and they will munt relentlessly. As always (esp after last week), I welcome you proving me wrong, but I don’t anticipate it because I think you guys are only 4-1-1 because 75% of this league is complete busch league.
DB wins 7-2.


Ligers vs Stanky Legs
Ugh...after last week’s 20 person lineup in the rain debacle, my confidence is waning a bit for the Ligers. BUT Stanky Legs, what the fuck? You cockstains didn’t even show up to play against Kickin It, who you likely would’ve mopped the floor against. I’ve been interested to see if you guys are contenders or pretenders all season, and it's really hard to tell with your big wins over TSA/OC/15 Witnesses (which are all meaningless) but a 5-0 loss to DB, a 2-1 loss to the Ronsons and last week's forfeit. I wish I knew more about you so I could know how badly we should expect to smear our themed historical old balls across your forehead, but I don’t, and you don’t come to the bar as far as I can tell, so therefore I hate you.
Ligers win a close game, 5-3.


15 Witnesses vs TSA
WHO GIVES A FUCK GAME OF THE WEEK
So after OC actually pulled out a win last week I’ve gone ahead and dubbed 15 Witnesses the worst team in the league...sorry guys. TSA don’t get ahead of yourself though cuz you’ve only beat PG 2-1 and OC 5-3 (before they practiced), and both of those teams seem to be competing as well for “worst on the planet” status. Good lord, who fuckin’ cares...I’m frustrated with myself for even trying to break this game down.
Prediction = a nail-biting 2-2 tie.

[MadDogMel]

SK just don’t let it get to your heads cuz you’ve still never won a playoff game, suckers.

There's a first time for everything!

[secordsmith]

we want the marquee matchups guaranteed (i.e. Ligers vs SK/DB)

I concur.

Nothing is more fun than watching returning teams who all know each other face off.

Not saying the whole schedule needs to be fixed, but Ligers missed both SK and DB. They have no easy way to really move up in the power rankings. Granted, both DB and SK could show up fucked in half drunk, bat left-footed and still win, but its the principle.

Lining up these 3 season-after-season power-house teams would certainly make the league more fun.

Same for the mediocre teams with lots of veterans (Kickin it, off constantly, and whatever Feather's team is).

[MeanGreeN]

SK just don’t let it get to your heads cuz you’ve still never won a playoff game, suckers.

There's a first time for everything!

Thats what the Cowgirls keep saying. muhahahahah GO SKINS

[The Farmer]

SK just don’t let it get to your heads cuz you’ve still never won a playoff game, suckers.

There's a first time for everything!

Thats what the Cowgirls keep saying. muhahahahah GO SKINS

does anyone know what this cock-dock is talking about?

[MeanGreeN]

Football, Farmer...I am well aware that the Cowboys have won a playoff game before, in fact they have won many but they havent won a playoff game in what 12 years? so it feels like when or if they do win, it will be like its the first time - hence "first time for everything" you cum depository

[The Farmer]

Football, Farmer...I am well aware that the Cowboys have won a playoff game before, in fact they have won many but they havent won a playoff game in what 12 years? so it feels like when or if they do win, it will be like its the first time - hence "first time for everything" you cum depository

that's what i thought you were talking about, but i figured you could have come up w/ a better comparison....actually now that i think about it, it makes sense you couldn't come up w/ a better comparison

and f*ck the skins!

[MeanGreeN]

I predict Franzen will come dressed as a fairy or something of the like to utilize his banana hammock and Feathers will come dressed as some kind of red head girl and that OC will crush them tonight.