Party Rankings Week 9

[secordsmith]

You clearly don't get the wedding ring comment dipshit, so just keep your trap shut. I didn't expect you to though...because you are stupid.

Irony of it all is that my sex life is considerably better because I behave myself on Thursdays, so assume what you want. We all know Emily only dates you cuz you have a horsecock...lucky for you too because getting sex for you would be impossible if girls judged you based on your personality.

A horsecock & a sexless personality? Do you think you could attempt at an insult that actually stings or will it take you a couple hours? Here, I leave at 5 PM, but you can tell me in person later.

[peckerslap time!]

You clearly don't get the wedding ring comment dipshit, so just keep your trap shut. I didn't expect you to though...because you are stupid.

Irony of it all is that my sex life is considerably better because I behave myself on Thursdays, so assume what you want. We all know Emily only dates you cuz you have a horsecock...lucky for you too because getting sex for you would be impossible if girls judged you based on your personality.

A horsecock & a sexless personality? Do you think you could attempt at an insult that actually stings or will it take you a couple hours?

You're not smart enough to understand actual wit, so no, I have no interest in trying. Have fun getting your ass kicked by Stanky Legs tonight.

[The Farmer]

Yeah, I'm fielding another installment of DAALTS. The summer version will be called All Aboard the FAILBOAT. Come one, come all...but only come if you've been HIV tested and you're here to fucking party your ever-loving ASS off!!!!!!

does it matter what the results of the test were?

[The Farmer]

She can also probably drink a pitcher faster than you.

nah, we've settled that more than once

[secordsmith]

You clearly don't get the wedding ring comment dipshit, so just keep your trap shut. I didn't expect you to though...because you are stupid.

Irony of it all is that my sex life is considerably better because I behave myself on Thursdays, so assume what you want. We all know Emily only dates you cuz you have a horsecock...lucky for you too because getting sex for you would be impossible if girls judged you based on your personality.

A horsecock & a sexless personality? Do you think you could attempt at an insult that actually stings or will it take you a couple hours?

You're not smart enough to understand actual wit, so no, I have no interest in trying. Have fun getting your ass kicked by Stanky Legs tonight.

Gargle my nuts.

[Willie Fistergash]

Yeah, I'm fielding another installment of DAALTS. The summer version will be called All Aboard the FAILBOAT. Come one, come all...but only come if you've been HIV tested and you're here to fucking party your ever-loving ASS off!!!!!!

does it matter what the results of the test were?

No...just the fact that you cared enough to be forced to get tested by your high school girlfriend says enough.

[Willie Fistergash]

The summer version will be called All Aboard the FAILBOAT.

You all realize that "all aboard the failboat" is a copyrighted Ligerism and using it will only prove our supremacy even further, right?

Lick a dick...we've all been saying that since we were in short pants, fagmatron. Don't you and Whit get your panties in a bunch because I was the first one to put pen to paper. Now go back to putting roophies in your wife's apple sauce so you can stay out until at least 11.

[MeanGreeN]

"#6 Das Boot - Coston was there, he ate a sandwich, it looked tasty. Franzen was there too, he sat at the bar, it was cool."

Chris isn't even on Das Boot...never has been.

Hey Franzen, what are your plans for next season?

If you're trying to say he's on Das Boot next season, I believe you and the Mrs. requested to be on HIS team. Not the other way around!

Hilarious Pete! I would love to see this, the rest of the league would suffer though as Scottie would take AU back over and super-serious it up again.

And PS EVERYONE, Maggie can outparty all of you dicksmokes hands down. She can also probably drink a pitcher faster than you.

yeah by pouring half of it down her shirt!

[Willie Fistergash]

"#6 Das Boot - Coston was there, he ate a sandwich, it looked tasty. Franzen was there too, he sat at the bar, it was cool."

Chris isn't even on Das Boot...never has been.

Hey Franzen, what are your plans for next season?

If you're trying to say he's on Das Boot next season, I believe you and the Mrs. requested to be on HIS team. Not the other way around!

Hilarious Pete! I would love to see this, the rest of the league would suffer though as Scottie would take AU back over and super-serious it up again.

While Pete is more than welcome to be on my team whenever he wants I think he's just looking for a slice of flavor for the summer season. I'm sure the non-fun police that is the AU-Wholesome Olson merger will continue in the fall.

[peckerslap time!]

She can also probably drink a pitcher faster than you.

nah, we've settled that more than once

maybe so, but no guy should lose to her in a pitcher chug anyway...you only proved yourself adequate. i know for a fact maggie can out-party any SK member, that's for sure.

[peckerslap time!]

Gargle my nuts.

I'll pass and just let you gargle Stanky Leg's nuts instead.

God I love pretending to hate everyone!

[the deebo]

Gargle my nuts.

I'll pass and just let you gargle Stanky Leg's nuts instead.

God I love pretending to hate everyone!

we're pretending??

[Willie Fistergash]

Doubtful they will be posted this week but I must say big props to Kickin It for pulling out S&M this week. I know there are whipping pictures out there somewhere!

So I am doing the rankings this week then and if someone else wants to add more, do it!

#1 Kicking It - S&M reasons, a bunch of bears whipping each other is pretty awesome. Not to mention they were "going to flash" so thats pretty good. And I saw one of the bears flash some random dude, she had a pink bra, it was well it just "was", so congrats.
#2 OJ - Who would dispute our awesomeness. Really who? #s were key here and our lady won best costume...
#3 Ligers - Good Costumes, Nice win, too bad you couldnt stick around to party. Although you did scream your teams name a bunch of times, that was cool like always? Thats a question.....
#4 Scared Kickless- Partying with 'yellow face' on is pretty hard core. they were mad they didnt win 1st, frankly it was pretty close. Nothing crazy was done but you deserve props
#5 Playground Bullies - some girl told me she was a playground bully, she was really drunk and annoyed alot of people, but she was drunk and self proclamitory so they get 5th
#6 Das Boot - Coston was there, he ate a sandwich, it looked tasty. Franzen was there too, he sat at the bar, it was cool.
#7 Lots of other teams - I saw a bunch of you sitting around which is good, feel good for being there and being anonymous!

I know these arent as funny as usualu but the 7 people that read them will have fun commenting on them....Luke, Pete, Etc have at it....

Epic fail for associating me with an epically unfun team. Epic redemption for taking the time to do the party rankings...even if they read like you typed them on your iPhone.

[the deebo]

Doubtful they will be posted this week but I must say big props to Kickin It for pulling out S&M this week. I know there are whipping pictures out there somewhere!

So I am doing the rankings this week then and if someone else wants to add more, do it!

#1 Kicking It - S&M reasons, a bunch of bears whipping each other is pretty awesome. Not to mention they were "going to flash" so thats pretty good. And I saw one of the bears flash some random dude, she had a pink bra, it was well it just "was", so congrats.
#2 OJ - Who would dispute our awesomeness. Really who? #s were key here and our lady won best costume...
#3 Ligers - Good Costumes, Nice win, too bad you couldnt stick around to party. Although you did scream your teams name a bunch of times, that was cool like always? Thats a question.....
#4 Scared Kickless- Partying with 'yellow face' on is pretty hard core. they were mad they didnt win 1st, frankly it was pretty close. Nothing crazy was done but you deserve props
#5 Playground Bullies - some girl told me she was a playground bully, she was really drunk and annoyed alot of people, but she was drunk and self proclamitory so they get 5th
#6 Das Boot - Coston was there, he ate a sandwich, it looked tasty. Franzen was there too, he sat at the bar, it was cool.
#7 Lots of other teams - I saw a bunch of you sitting around which is good, feel good for being there and being anonymous!

I know these arent as funny as usualu but the 7 people that read them will have fun commenting on them....Luke, Pete, Etc have at it....

Maybe his text plan charges him by the word.

Epic fail for associating me with an epically unfun team. Epic redemption for taking the time to do the party rankings...even if they read like you typed them on your iPhone.

[peckerslap time!]

The summer version will be called All Aboard the FAILBOAT.

You all realize that "all aboard the failboat" is a copyrighted Ligerism and using it will only prove our supremacy even further, right?

Lick a dick...we've all been saying that since we were in short pants, fagmatron. Don't you and Whit get your panties in a bunch because I was the first one to put pen to paper. Now go back to putting roophies in your wife's apple sauce so you can stay out until at least 11.

Except...you weren't the first to put it to pen and paper, I was via a message board thread. I'd prove it but Scottie took down the post that we completely owned him in a long time ago cuz he couldn't handle the shame.

[the deebo]

The summer version will be called All Aboard the FAILBOAT.

You all realize that "all aboard the failboat" is a copyrighted Ligerism and using it will only prove our supremacy even further, right?

Lick a dick...we've all been saying that since we were in short pants, fagmatron. Don't you and Whit get your panties in a bunch because I was the first one to put pen to paper. Now go back to putting roophies in your wife's apple sauce so you can stay out until at least 11.

Except...you weren't the first to put it to pen and paper, I was via a message board thread. I'd prove it but Scottie took down the post that we completely owned him in a long time ago cuz he couldn't handle the shame.

I think I remember that post.....something about it not being "kickball related," which only describes about 99% off all post on our league boards.

[Willie Fistergash]

The summer version will be called All Aboard the FAILBOAT.

You all realize that "all aboard the failboat" is a copyrighted Ligerism and using it will only prove our supremacy even further, right?

Lick a dick...we've all been saying that since we were in short pants, fagmatron. Don't you and Whit get your panties in a bunch because I was the first one to put pen to paper. Now go back to putting roophies in your wife's apple sauce so you can stay out until at least 11.

Except...you weren't the first to put it to pen and paper, I was via a message board thread. I'd prove it but Scottie took down the post that we completely owned him in a long time ago cuz he couldn't handle the shame.

You're right, Luke. I'm a non-creative hack. Where did you guys come up the name for the Ligers again? Oh yeah, the most overplayed movie of all time. At least you don't call yourselves Breakfast Club or some shit like that.

Go get some ham, you ugly bearded piece of shit.

[peckerslap time!]

You're right, Luke. I'm a non-creative hack. Where did you guys come up the name for the Ligers again? Oh yeah, the most overplayed movie of all time. At least you don't call yourselves Breakfast Club or some shit like that.

Go get some ham, you ugly bearded piece of shit.

Nobody said you were a non-creative hack, you just didn't come up with the failboat. Further, I would have to say that you are considerably more creative than I am. Drunk Again and Lookin to Score...genius.

You wish you were a Liger...

[Willie Fistergash]

You're right, Luke. I'm a non-creative hack. Where did you guys come up the name for the Ligers again? Oh yeah, the most overplayed movie of all time. At least you don't call yourselves Breakfast Club or some shit like that.

Go get some ham, you ugly bearded piece of shit.

Nobody said you were a non-creative hack, you just didn't come up with the failboat. Further, I would have to say that you are considerably more creative than I am. Drunk Again and Lookin to Score...genius.

You wish you were a Liger...

Sometimes creativity lies in being able to take things that already exist and make them relevant to things that they weren't originally intended for. Hence this season's team name. I'm not trying to say I was the first person to ever say "failboat"...I'm just the 1st person to say "that would be a good team name" and then actually do something about it.

Keep rocking with the Ligers name, though...that name was relevant back when your team was: 2003

Now please get busy with a retort on how you were also the first person to ever say "sailboat". Then you can get busy reinventing the wheel and trying to figure out a way for guys to breast feed.

[Power Monger]

#2 OJ - #s were key here and our lady won best costume...

ok, if you want to win best costume with scottie voting, just dress up a mildly hot asian chick all slutty. whoopidy fuckin' doo.

That's completely untrue. I do not discriminate. You could be a cute chick of any nationality and if you dress slutty I will proclaim you costume champion.

That's rock solid logic right there

[secordsmith]

The summer version will be called All Aboard the FAILBOAT.

You all realize that "all aboard the failboat" is a copyrighted Ligerism and using it will only prove our supremacy even further, right?

Lick a dick...we've all been saying that since we were in short pants, fagmatron. Don't you and Whit get your panties in a bunch because I was the first one to put pen to paper. Now go back to putting roophies in your wife's apple sauce so you can stay out until at least 11.

Except...you weren't the first to put it to pen and paper, I was via a message board thread. I'd prove it but Scottie took down the post that we completely owned him in a long time ago cuz he couldn't handle the shame.

Fuck you.

[peckerslap time!]

Sometimes creativity lies in being able to take things that already exist and make them relevant to things that they weren't originally intended for. Hence this season's team name. I'm not trying to say I was the first person to ever say "failboat"...I'm just the 1st person to say "that would be a good team name" and then actually do something about it.

Keep rocking with the Ligers name, though...that name was relevant back when your team was: 2003

Now please get busy with a retort on how you were also the first person to ever say "sailboat". Then you can get busy reinventing the wheel and trying to figure out a way for guys to breast feed.

ok so you took it from the Ligers and said you'd make a team name out of it...fair enough...that was my original point

and had you known any history of the Ligers you'd know we weren't relevant in 2003, we were Off Constantly-esque and like 1-20-1 in our first 2 seasons. but we were still the loudest and funnest team...it was the beginning of the dynasty. saying we're not relevant in this league is like saying pakistan and india isn't a relevant cricket match, and you know it.

[peckerslap time!]

Fuck you.

why don't you go do something you're good at......like humping emily in plain view in the bar or go to velvet with the b squad for lunch

[secordsmith]

peckerslap, I heard we are playing you tomorrow, but you lameasses are so scared of losing to us, you don't want the game to count?

You are a bigger vagina than I tell people.

[flip c*up yours]

In response to the pitcher chugging thing...

I have been practicing once a week at our kickball bar up here. Farmer, good luck this time sir.

Also Harrison - if you look at pictures from the contest...I am not the one with beer all over my shirt. I am also not one of the people who ended up puking.

I am ready to party. I need to get over this hangover before I start driving though.

[Darkness]

"#6 Das Boot - Coston was there, he ate a sandwich, it looked tasty. Franzen was there too, he sat at the bar, it was cool."

Chris isn't even on Das Boot...never has been.

Hey Franzen, what are your plans for next season?

If you're trying to say he's on Das Boot next season, I believe you and the Mrs. requested to be on HIS team. Not the other way around!

Hilarious Pete! I would love to see this, the rest of the league would suffer though as Scottie would take AU back over and super-serious it up again.

While Pete is more than welcome to be on my team whenever he wants I think he's just looking for a slice of flavor for the summer season. I'm sure the non-fun police that is the AU-Wholesome Olson merger will continue in the fall.

Will you guys fucking get over it already. Everyone knows Scared Kickless is the new power in the league. Start insulting them.

[Sensei]

Even if my rankings were lame I must get soem kind of award for most active thread of the year!

IM RADICAL!

[peckerslap time!]

peckerslap, I heard we are playing you tomorrow, but you lameasses are so scared of losing to us, you don't want the game to count?

You are a bigger vagina than I tell people.

THE LEAGUE has dictated that the game doesn't count...because you guys already fucking lost. I don't even know why I defend myself against you, you clearly just don't understand...we're playing you for charity so you can fit 1 more unofficial loss in before the end of the season and so we can work out the kinks before Das Boot.

[peckerslap time!]

That's completely untrue. I do not discriminate. You could be a cute chick of any nationality and if you dress slutty I will proclaim you costume champion.

OK fine Scottie I suppose that's true. Point is it's a weak reason for winning best costume when Jody out-ninja-cumstained ninja cumstain himself!

Kinda just like whoring yourself to the party rankings by shamelessly letting half the bar motorboat you is a weak way to improve your party rank.

[Sensei]

Jody out-ninja-cumstained ninja cumstain himself!

ru fucking shitting me, sorry poorly executed bald head and krate gee doesnt out ninja me, thats not even a ninja you skidmark! you know that unibrow does sorta look like a skid mark maybe that will be your new nickname....

my fu man chu wig and kung fu gee was way more ninja!

[MeanGreeN]

In response to the pitcher chugging thing...

I have been practicing once a week at our kickball bar up here. Farmer, good luck this time sir.

Also Harrison - if you look at pictures from the contest...I am not the one with beer all over my shirt. I am also not one of the people who ended up puking.

I am ready to party. I need to get over this hangover before I start driving though.

Evidence. The eyes have been blacked out to protect the accused!

[PDubbZer]

That's completely untrue. I do not discriminate. You could be a cute chick of any nationality and if you dress slutty I will proclaim you costume champion.

OK fine Scottie I suppose that's true. Point is it's a weak reason for winning best costume when Jody out-ninja-cumstained ninja cumstain himself!

Kinda just like whoring yourself to the party rankings by shamelessly letting half the bar motorboat you is a weak way to improve your party rank.

How is such a beautiful thing possibly considered weak?

[Power Monger]

That's completely untrue. I do not discriminate. You could be a cute chick of any nationality and if you dress slutty I will proclaim you costume champion.

OK fine Scottie I suppose that's true. Point is it's a weak reason for winning best costume when Jody out-ninja-cumstained ninja cumstain himself!

Kinda just like whoring yourself to the party rankings by shamelessly letting half the bar motorboat you is a weak way to improve your party rank.

I paid for the pitcher. I'll give the award to whoever I godamned please.

and your opinion on what qualifies as a high party ranking is irrelevant. I created the party rankings 3 seasons ago after the first time someone on Kickin It (KIOS at the time) showed their boobs. Boob showing was the entire inspiration for creating them it in the first place. My entire devious plot (which I'm not sure even qualifies as devious because I certainly don't hide it) was to get more boobies to be shown. I'm pretty positive that in that first post I even mentioned that acts of nudity will always result in a high ranking. Call it shameless all you want. I love shamelessness.

[peckerslap time!]

Jody out-ninja-cumstained ninja cumstain himself!

ru fucking shitting me, sorry poorly executed bald head and krate gee doesnt out ninja me, thats not even a ninja you skidmark! you know that unibrow does sorta look like a skid mark maybe that will be your new nickname....

my fu man chu wig and kung fu gee was way more ninja!

You wish a) that you calling me skidmark came close to me calling you ninja cumstain, b) that Maggie was on your flip cup team and c) that you were a Liger.

Fail. Fail. Fail.

Gotta appreciate you trying though...just further proof on how fucking awesome we are.

[peckerslap time!]

I paid for the pitcher. I'll give the award to whoever I godamned please.

and your opinion on what qualifies as a high party ranking is irrelevant. I created the party rankings 3 seasons ago after the first time someone on Kickin It (KIOS at the time) showed their boobs. Boob showing was the entire inspiration for creating them it in the first place. My entire devious plot (which I'm not sure even qualifies as devious because I certainly don't hide it) was to get more boobies to be shown. I'm pretty positive that in that first post I even mentioned that acts of nudity will always result in a high ranking. Call it shameless all you want. I love shamelessness.

You're right...YOU ARE THE MAN SCOTTIE! You are by far the most inventive genius in the league...definitely...for encouraging girls to be skanks. Thank god you joined it way back when......

[Sensei]

You wish a) that you calling me skidmark came close to me calling you ninja cumstain, b) that Maggie was on your flip cup team and c) that you were a Liger.

Fail. Fail. Fail.

1- we shall see skidmark, ill get that one going tommorow!
2-we needed a 5th, too bad ive rectruited an even better one, fear the sex master
3-never, we needed a team and frankly rallied a tight hot one, hows ur talent....fail

[Sensei]

coston may 16th 2008:

This is my first installment of the "Party Rankings". The rankings for the most part will based on cumulative effort by teams over the season although I reserve the right to make fairly drastic changes from a week to week basis depending on what kind of stuff goes down. The rankings will be based on a combination of drinking prowess, sociability, and a general display of shenanigans. If you feel like your team has been slighted...TOUGH SHIT, try harder next week and if you can try to capture photographic evidence of it. Keep in mind that without pictures I'm forced to go off what I can remember which is generally not much. These rankings are far more important then the Power Rankings so this is your true chance to shine. So without further ado...

[peckerslap time!]

You wish a) that you calling me skidmark came close to me calling you ninja cumstain, b) that Maggie was on your flip cup team and c) that you were a Liger.

Fail. Fail. Fail.

1- we shall see skidmark, ill get that one going tommorow!
2-we needed a 5th, too bad ive rectruited an even better one, fear the sex master
3-never, we needed a team and frankly rallied a tight hot one, hows ur talent....fail

Cumstain, take off your sensitive hat, it's disgusting.

1) We shall, and I'm sure everyone will jump on the failboat with you because they'd rather hate me than you or anyone else. That doesn't make skidmark better, it just makes me cooler than you. Liger dominance proven.
2) I don't care who you picked up. You wanted Maggie but once again you're one step behind the Ligers as usual. Nice try bringing in lotsa money on the last week of the Penny Wars by the way, the same night I saw you before kickball and you knew we were about to own you in the theme week...again.
3) "Never?" Never is certainly not true. Are you really gonna make me post the email of you asking if you and Preston could be on our team this season? I applaud your efforts in getting a good looking team together sure, but you can't pretend you never asked. Sorry we let you down Cumstain, but when you ask a group of Ligers "hey do you want to play again?" they all say yes, hence why we don't have problems returning teams. On the other side of the spectrum, when your team members leave your teams they give their shirts to goodwill.

[Willie Fistergash]

Sometimes creativity lies in being able to take things that already exist and make them relevant to things that they weren't originally intended for. Hence this season's team name. I'm not trying to say I was the first person to ever say "failboat"...I'm just the 1st person to say "that would be a good team name" and then actually do something about it.

Keep rocking with the Ligers name, though...that name was relevant back when your team was: 2003

Now please get busy with a retort on how you were also the first person to ever say "sailboat". Then you can get busy reinventing the wheel and trying to figure out a way for guys to breast feed.

ok so you took it from the Ligers and said you'd make a team name out of it...fair enough...that was my original point

and had you known any history of the Ligers you'd know we weren't relevant in 2003, we were Off Constantly-esque and like 1-20-1 in our first 2 seasons. but we were still the loudest and funnest team...it was the beginning of the dynasty. saying we're not relevant in this league is like saying pakistan and india isn't a relevant cricket match, and you know it.

Honestly, I just heard a bunch of people saying it on the football team I was on this season with Whit and Scott. And I heard them saying "Failboat". Call it a delusion of grandeur but I added the "All aboard part" myself. You would have known that had your house arrest bracelet not been blaring in your ear every Sunday.

Secondly, I'm commenting on your team's relevancy as a whole. Not on how good you were/are at kickball whether its 2003 or 2010. You should rename your team AIDS because its one of those things where everyone knows it when they see it but they never ever want to be a part of it.

Thirdly, your cricket analogy is failing worse than your last cholesterol test. I have a dick and I love vagina and my teeth are straight. I don't watch cricket, fuckhead.

[Willie Fistergash]

coston may 16th 2008:

This is my first installment of the "Party Rankings". The rankings for the most part will based on cumulative effort by teams over the season although I reserve the right to make fairly drastic changes from a week to week basis depending on what kind of stuff goes down. The rankings will be based on a combination of drinking prowess, sociability, and a general display of shenanigans. If you feel like your team has been slighted...TOUGH SHIT, try harder next week and if you can try to capture photographic evidence of it. Keep in mind that without pictures I'm forced to go off what I can remember which is generally not much. These rankings are far more important then the Power Rankings so this is your true chance to shine. So without further ado...

I believe someone's table slide was the ACTUAL reason for the creation of the PRs...and some might argue this someone also showed their boobs. They're B-cups. Shit you not.

Patty is so lucky to have me...