Week 1 Party Rankings

[Busch on the field]

Here they are folks. Creating this list instead of working cost the Supreme Court of VA quite a bit of money, you're tax dollars at work folks.

1.
Ligers
Way to play drinking games 10 feet from the fucking bouncer. Although, I give you guys credit where credit's due. A good showing last night, and I'm giving you extra points for not yelling "LIGERRRRRRRS" after 8pm. The second I walked into the bar, all I heard for 5 minutes were 10 cockbags screaming your war chant. With your tie dyed shirts and Whit's hairy ass armpits exposed to the world, you looked like a bunch of hippies during a PETA Rally. Any night that ends in Chuck wondering the fan for 2 hours barefoot only to wake up with a melted ice cream container sitting on his bedroom floor is the evidence of a good night. Whit's b-day shenanigans didn't hurt either.

2.
Morally Casual, The Res-erection
Despite being massively annoying on the field, MC captained by "Coo Coo for Peter's Puffs" Karen (credit CJ for that one) had a very strong showing last night, making tons of noise and getting hammered. Summer talks a lot of shit about getting people riled up and ready to party, but I didn't see any of that. You kept to yourselves in your little corner all night.

3.
Nine Inch Males
Strong numbers as usual, but needs to ramp up the drinking, Secord and I can't do it all ourselves. However, the antics by Secord being so mega hammered he destroyed his g/f's lamps/mirror while attempting to climb her dresser and piss in the corner in the middle of the night gives this team some points. Lauren seemed to be so hammered she thought it was a good idea to hang all over a Weird Al look a like last night, I can't wait to hear how that one turned out.

4.
Kickin It Old School
KIOS, gotta love you guys, always showing up in big numbers, mixing it up with the other teams, dancing the night away and getting hammered, I love it. But, you guys have to step up your PG rated bar antics I witnessed during week 1 and start using your numbers to your advantage. Need more blackouts.

5.
Its Not Going to Kick Itself
Yesterday this team was known as "Go Team Feathers" since Debbie, Feathers and his other half Erin were the only ones really attending the bar. Fail for Feathers for putting me in charge of watching Erin when he went to take a piss...How responsible can I really be while chugging down my third pitcher? The only reason you rank over TBI is because you stay later and TBI tends to leave early as shit.

6.
TBI: The Seasoned Kitties
Welcome to thunderdome bitches. You're going to have to step up your bar presence, mearly having solid numbers won't cut it in this league. That shit may have flown back in the failed Wednesday league, but not here. Not one of you had slurred words...FAIL. Also, stop leaving so god damn early, CVS is open 24 hours a day, you can pick up your anti-itching cunt cream once the bar closes...christ

7.
You Look Like I Need A Drink
C'mon guys, you're better than that. Even during summer league you just sat at a table talking to yourselves, last night was no exception. You've got a good amount showing up, but you guys need to stand up and mix with the league. Face it guys, any of your hopes of rocking out Carley are over, she's engaged so stop salivating over her every week. Stand up, move away from the table, chug pitchers, do shots and join the league. I wanna see some blackouts next week fella's.

8.
Big Shockers
Fuck I dunno, all I saw from that team was Whit Clements walking out the door in his piss yellow shirt.

9.
Why So Serious?
Ugh, a runner up for having the least creative team name in history, you're only beat out by the Ligers. I managed to spend 20 seconds with you guys last night. Huddled in the corner talking amongst yourselves basically invisible. Didn't even see any girls representing your team. No girls = fail.

10.
What Are We Doing Tonight?
Exactly, what in the hell are you doing. Making my rounds last night, I saw 3 of you sitting down doing jack shit. Figure out what you're doing, and do it.

[Power Monger]

Nice.

well done

[Bonnie Blue]

Busch, I think you may be color blind on some of this...Carley's team is pink right? Well that one pink hooker was effing tearing up the dance floor...and every man in sight, might I add. Black shirts were covering the dance floor as well. Navy wins the yak award for the night. Light yellow is 15 Shitnesses right? Really, who gives a fooie. Both yellow teams blew wenis prinkles. As for staying late, it's no surprise the Ligers and MC were the only ones fighting that battle as well. Jeez people, it was only quarter after midnight only 9 kickballers remained. I'm not ok with this.

[gas pumper]

Jeez people, it was only quarter after midnight only 9 kickballers remained.

maybe if banditos could suck a little less...

[peckerslap time!]

maybe if banditos could suck a little less...

agreed...I don't really expect it to go uphill from here. we got yelled at 3 times for being too loud, then they made us stop playing pitcher game when they saw me chug half a pitcher, THEN they took away our f'ing table! I go, "oh do you need this space for this raucus dance party?" to the bouncer and he just kinda shrugged it off. then he walks off with the table for the sole reason apparently to disband us so we weren't all in the same place. FYI they let MC stay cuz MC clearly wasn't being as wild and crazy as us.

bandito's clearly can't contain the Ligers, let alone the rest of the league. i even felt awkward with the unibrow...that should never happen.

banditos =

[gas pumper]

i even felt awkward with the unibrow...that should never happen.

same here with the cape so I didn't even bother wearing it.

parking ~ten blocks away was full of win as well. is it ok to park in that lot across the street of the bandito's front door?

[Bonnie Blue]

maybe if banditos could suck a little less...

agreed...I don't really expect it to go uphill from here. we got yelled at 3 times for being too loud, then they made us stop playing pitcher game when they saw me chug half a pitcher, THEN they took away our f'ing table! I go, "oh do you need this space for this raucus dance party?" to the bouncer and he just kinda shrugged it off. then he walks off with the table for the sole reason apparently to disband us so we weren't all in the same place. FYI they let MC stay cuz MC clearly wasn't being as wild and crazy as us.

bandito's clearly can't contain the Ligers, let alone the rest of the league. i even felt awkward with the unibrow...that should never happen.

Come on guys, we've got Banditos for the season so let's make the best of it. That said, I agree, it was total bs about the pitcher game, or as we call it, the finger game. They were after us with that too...I asked if we could play with an EMPTY pitcher and the bouncer said no. So of course we did anyway and he yelled at us yet again. As usual, these bars don't know what the hell they're getting into when they sign a contract with WAKA. Anyway, let's just be thankful we're not back at Suckart's again. Banditos beats that place hands down. And you better keep the unibrow and gas pumper (Whit C?), wear your cape. Hell, I wore my "turquoise is our accent color!" outfit loud and proud last night and had no problem, yall can do the same.

[peckerslap time!]

Come on guys, we've got Banditos for the season so let's make the best of it. That said, I agree, it was total bs about the pitcher game, or as we call it, the finger game. They were after us with that too...I asked if we could play with an EMPTY pitcher and the bouncer said no. So of course we did anyway and he yelled at us yet again. As usual, these bars don't know what the hell they're getting into when they sign a contract with WAKA. Anyway, let's just be thankful we're not back at Suckart's again. Banditos beats that place hands down. And you better keep the unibrow and gas pumper (Whit C?), wear your cape. Hell, I wore my "turquoise is our accent color!" outfit loud and proud last night and had no problem, yall can do the same.

You really don't know who gas pumper is?!? That just speaks volumes to me...about your stupidity. Pumper you've apparently been playing on wednesdays for way too long.

That said, we will absolutely make he best out of Bandarino's, but that doesn't mean it doesn't suck. At least Bogart's had a balcony so we could get loud and stay out of the watchful eye of the bouncers.

[Rule #5: Ur an idiot]

A few things,

yes you can park in the lot across the street next to church. For fucksake we shogunning beers out there before we went in. You can also leave it there overnight if you plan on blacking out like the rest of us.

Next, "Coo Coo for Peter Puffs" aka "Sultan of Sadness" aka "The new Marlboro Man" aka beloved / absurd widow of Peter Olsen"
i think i would rather nibble on the dead cat's asshole from last night than read one more of your pointless rants.
It literally kills me to say you have a good team again this year, however every single one of you except Woody and Olu's white ass are still the kings of douche nation. The only time you guys did anything last night beside fish hook each other in the front, was yell every time we did. Seriously, thats it. So besides clearly losing your mind you are now starting to make shit up. Super.

[gas pumper]

For fucksake we shogunning beers out there before we went in.

[CaptainPlastic]

Come on guys, we've got Banditos for the season so let's make the best of it. That said, I agree, it was total bs about the pitcher game, or as we call it, the finger game. They were after us with that too...I asked if we could play with an EMPTY pitcher and the bouncer said no. So of course we did anyway and he yelled at us yet again. As usual, these bars don't know what the hell they're getting into when they sign a contract with WAKA. Anyway, let's just be thankful we're not back at Suckart's again. Banditos beats that place hands down. And you better keep the unibrow and gas pumper (Whit C?), wear your cape. Hell, I wore my "turquoise is our accent color!" outfit loud and proud last night and had no problem, yall can do the same.

Wow.

Gas Pumper - I am offended for you...

[Bonnie Blue]

i think i would rather nibble on the dead cat's asshole from last night than read one more of your pointless rants. It literally kills me to say you have a good team again this year, however every single one of you except Woody and Olu's white ass are still the kings of douche nation. The only time you guys did anything last night beside fish hook each other in the front, was yell every time we did.

I thought turning 30 yesterday was killing you, not that MC (even with tons of new faces) is good again. And btw, feel free to keep on talking shit about me with regards to PMO ...just remember, I saw you leave last night.