Week 6 Predictions

[dat philthy]

MOIST v. Booze on First

For the first time all season, the schedule maker got things right. Every single game this week will be competitive and evenly-matched. In fact, I’d be mildly surprised if any game results in a margin greater than 4 runs. Turning my attention to this pick, these two teams are mirror images of one another. Both have good pitchers, strategic defenses, athletic rosters, and both employ a similar lineup strategy – approximately 10 consecutive dudes to start the game. The only difference I see is that this is simply a must win game (is there such a thing in kickball?) for MOIST if they expect anything higher than a 13 or 14 seed this season. All things being equal, I’ll take the team that needs it more. MOIST by 1.

Sloppy Seconds v. Multiple Scoregasms

Hey Scoregasms, thanks for making my team stand around in the freezing rain last week while we waited 15 minutes for you to forfeit. Did you have the sniffles? An over-abundance of paper cuts? Toughen up. Hopefully your parents will make you some quartered crust-free PB&J’s and slice up some orange sectionals for you after this week’s game. Spite pick here. SLOPPY by 1.

Pinkasaurus v. Pitch Set Me Up

Since I am responsible for reffing this game, I reluctantly can’t provide you with any of my all-knowing thoughts and predictions. However, I can tell you about some other things about these two teams. First, neither enjoys using the same name twice, not only is that annoying, but it shows that they have commitment issues. Second, both have a large role in division leadership, clearly this shows they are control freaks. Finally, both love to get sloppy drunk. In conclusion, while both of these teams are pretty, I wouldn’t bring them home to meet my parents. NO PICK.

E = MC Hammered vs. Below Me

Ho Hum. Not much to write about here. No rivalry. No impact on the standings. No accusations of flip cup infidelity. No hyper-active coaches. No spikes first slides. No three-run HRs that entered into lunar orbit. No championship rematches. No battle of blue supremacy. Ordinary game. HAMMERED by 1.

Sparkle Motion vs 21st Amendments

While the Sparklers chose to stay home, take care of their laundry, drink herbal tea, play yahtzee, and watch the office, the anti-prohibitionists were out battling the elements, the always troublesome 6:30 timeslot, and a quality team. Sparklers, you should be ashamed. Ventiunos, by virtue of your dedication and commitment to this league (and a respectable score against Below Me) you earned my pick. 21sts by 1.

Swopes Heros v. Das Boot

Another decent matchup here. With 2-3 records, these two new teams have handled themselves with a proper amount of dignity on the field. The Boots, however, have absolutely over-achieved at the bar with weeks upon weeks of ridiculousness. Swopes, to be honest, I don’t even know what color shirts you wear, nor have I ever met one player on your team. You’d have to get final approval from Flip Cuppington, but I’d be in favor of allowing you guys to play flip cup with Shirley Temples if thats what it takes. SWOPES by 1.

The Others v Recess Raiders

Braggin rights are on the line as two of the league bullies meet by the merry-go-round after lunch. Milk money, Wendy Peppercorn, and playground credibility are up for grabs. As for my analysis, let’s just say that one of these bullies has been pushing around 5th graders while the second has gotten fat beating up 2nd graders. I don’t think it will be that close. OTHERS by 4.

Balls to the Wall v. Mike Jackson Banana Grabbers

The MJBG’s have become the darlings of this league – there is no doubt about it. However, while the rest of the pundits toast to your success, I’m here to add a cautionary dose of sobriety. What happens when the serfs start living like royalty? What happens the minute a spouse gets married? What happens when you regularly feed a wild animal? I’m not interested in your success to date. I am interested to see how you handle it. BANANAS by 1.

[visor of fury]

In the words of the mighty Tim Grover: get involved Phil. Wow, you do a weekly write up of picks for the division. That is awesome. In fact, that and $5 will equal $5 for our charity. Your team hardly shows up at the bar anymore and I am pretty sure pitched a shutout at the Homecoming as far as attendance goes. No one on your team has ever had a leadership position in the division and it is most likely that you barely give $ to charity. Believe it or not, you are a veteran team now. Below Me has people on the board. Hell, the purple team even had someone on the board last season and threw down HUNDREDS of dollars last week for charity. MJ Grabbers are on the board and give $$$ to charity. Time to ____or get off of the pot brother. I bet Kickball Carrie has got my back on this one. Word. Dig. End rant.

Besides that I did enjoy all of your picks this week as usual.

VOF

[dat philthy]

Hey Isaacs -

How bout you sit on your thumb and twirl around a few times. Seriously dude, on an individual level you couldn't be more wrong. Not only do I submit my picks, write-ups, and head ump games. I give no less than $100 in monetary donations each season (and if you doubt that ask past social chairs). I also was told that my team was the only team that had been regularly bringing in items for Miriam's kitchen.

Do I think as a team my team could do more? Yes. Have I told them and encouraged participation? Yes. I was out of town for the homecoming dance and the other members of my team that regularly participate had pre-existing conflicts.

I'm not sure where this is coming from, or if you even took the time to investigate some of your assertions, but on a personal level couldn't be more wrong.

[visor of fury]

BANTER! Clearly this was not meant to be an overt personal attack towards esteemed captain Phil, who has dedication without question. Rather just food for thought that I was milling over during the homecoming when I did not see much Hammerred representation, if any. Calling out teams like PITCH and Pink for stepping up and being involved as indications of them being "control freaks" required some retribution. Our teams like giving back to something we get such joy from, such as kickball. And we are proud of our dedication and involvement with the charity. I don't doubt that you donate items to charity and funds as well, but it would be great to see more involvement in the sense of maybe guest bartending for one of the events, collecting superlative $, board position, etc., because generally people enjoy your teammates (the ones we know) and would like to see them more involved. So yea as usual my comments were abrasive, so for that I somewhat apologize. See everyone tomorrow for general misbehavior!

VOF

[PittsBurgheR]

You two remind me of the old guys in the muppets.

[grover]

Speaking of homecoming and charity....I heard the league needed 250 people to go to the party just to break even on the costs. There were not 250 people there. If I'm correct on all of this, where do the extra funds come from?

[dat philthy]

Rather just food for thought that I was milling over during the homecoming when I did not see much Hammerred representation, if any.

This is true. As I mentioned, my most active members had conflicts that prevented them from going. We only had 11 show up to the game on thursday, and 1/2 dozen more left that weekend. Additionally, I heard grumblings from some of my team regarding the format of this year's party.

Calling out teams like PITCH and Pink for stepping up and being involved as indications of them being "control freaks" required some retribution.

You are too smart of a person to honestly believe that is what I was doing. Reread it, I was merely providing satirical reasons why interested individuals shouldn't enter into long-term relationships with your team members.

I don't doubt that you donate items to charity and funds as well, but it would be great to see more involvement in the sense of maybe guest bartending for one of the events, collecting superlative $, board position, etc., because generally people enjoy your teammates (the ones we know) and would like to see them more involved.

I have no desire to take on any more kickball responsibilities beyond that which I already have. I would also like if my teammates contributed more. Ultimately, I have very little control over that.

So yea as usual my comments were abrasive, so for that I somewhat apologize.

I somewhat accept.

[dat philthy]

Grover, where are your picks???

['Da_MAULER]

Speaking of homecoming and charity....I heard the league needed 250 people to go to the party just to break even on the costs. There were not 250 people there. If I'm correct on all of this, where do the extra funds come from?

From what I heard from HTKC members in Liberty and on the event planning group, "homecoming" had sold 150 (more or less) tickets as of the night before.

[PittsBurgheR]

Speaking of homecoming and charity....I heard the league needed 250 people to go to the party just to break even on the costs. There were not 250 people there. If I'm correct on all of this, where do the extra funds come from?

The not yet advertised DC Liberty charity bakesale/whorehouse.