Party Rankings - Week 3

[tomcollins]

1 – Brocery Bags
What was the special broccasion? Has this team found their brojo? The bear costumes were a huge hit on and off the fields as well as your Irish car bomb. I give you extra points for playing your entire game in your costumes. You guys definitely didn’t brocrastinate when it came to formulating your theme week idea. However, spending $70 per bear costume kind of defeats the purpose of earning the $100 bar tab. Womp womp. At least you have bragging rights now. (5 points) Running Total = 5 points

2 – Lunch at the Y
This team shows week after week that they will do anything to be at the top of the party rankings. Example: David Parent eating a piece of cheese that had been microwaved onto Melanie’s T-shirt and had already been thrown in the trashcan. Now, that’s dedication. However, I will need to see bigger numbers at the bar if you would like to continue your reign at the top. There’s no “Y” in team. (3 points) Running Total = 8 points

3 – Ligers
I was once again reminded why everyone hates the Ligers. Stay home next week after the games and do your Liger chants there. I did love your costumes and I think you guys definitely deserved to be in the top 3. See, people do vote for you even if you’re the least liked team on the league. “You like me… You really like me.” (1 point) Running Total = 1 point

4 – Machiavelli
Fruit of the loom is a tired theme but your strategic placement of your grapes is enough to earn you a spot at number 4. This team never minds when I grope them inappropriately on the deck at Mulligan’s and for that I say thank you. I will need to see more mingling amongst the other teams. Running Total = 1 point

5 – Kickin It Old School
100 % participation on the theme week idea even though nobody knew what the hell we were. Strong numbers at the bar but a lack in the usual debauchery that we usually bring and a lot of people went home kind of early. I did, however, see about 4 or 5 of us stay late night, sucking down wieners and stumbling around Main street. With such large team numbers, though, I need to see more people stay out late to get back into the top 3. Running Total = 5 points

6 – En Fuego
I remember En Fuego chanting at the bar but it reminded me of a fizzle of a dying flame. Is this team burning out already? Order a flaming Dr. Pepper at the bar this week and remind me why you used to be number 1. On second thought, order me a flaming Dr. Pepper as well and maybe I’ll put you at number 1 for your kind generosity. Running Total = 5 points

7 – Steele Peters
You guys had good numbers at the bar but I don’t really remember much of a presence (besides Boxey’s coconuts). Maybe you guys were in a sugar coma from the candy theme that you pulled off. I’m looking forward to the return of the zebra shark and hopefully this time you’ll come fully erect. Running Total = 3 points

8 – Scared Kickless
Food fight was a very cute idea and Mel shared her cheese with David since he skipped lunchtime at the Y. Same old same old, however, with no real delivery on craziness. I still have yet to see anyone make out or flash some body parts. Start following my advice and you guys will move on up like George Jefferson. Running Total = 0 points

9 – Shockers
Did you guys get hit by a car on the way to the bar? Your costumes were pretty flippin sweet but I don’t remember your bar attendance. Make sure to look both ways before crossing main street. It can be dangerous out there. Running Total = 0 points

10 – McLovin Mitts
McLovin listened to my advice and wore his trench coat to the bar again so he gets to move up a spot in the party rankings. Next advice: Bring the rest of your team to the bar and dress up for the next theme week. Running Total = 0 points

11 – Nine Inch Males
I really did enjoy your costumes this past week. 9 inch foods is pretty funny although I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a 9 inch baked potato. Unfortunately for you guys, you’re back down to 8 inches of manhood due to your loss in last week’s game. Your low party ranking this week is because I really had large expectations after noticing that you ordered shots immediately after getting to Mulligan’s. Cut to an hour or two later and you were still sitting at your table, twiddling your thumbs. Were they shots of water? Try vodka next time. Running Total = 0

12 – I’d Buy that for a Dollar
I never saw the complete costume entirely put together but the concept was well thought out. Unfortunately, it looks like Jared left his foot long at home when he went to Mulligan’s. Guess it’s time for some chicken fingers. More numbers is a simple dietary solution for this crew.

13 – The Lemon Party
There’s no particular reason that you are so far down in the party rankings this week. You just haven’t done anything to impress the party gods and earn some party points. Point on your party pants next week and party down. Can I say party more times? Running Total = 0 points

14 – The HOFNARS
Who? Running Total = 0 points

[BOXEY]

Clearly you missed our Zebra Shark team shots.. jager and milk <shudder>

[tomcollins]

That sounds pretty horrible. Maybe you should buy me one this week so that I don't miss it.

[bearFight]

1 – Brocery Bags
What was the special broccasion? Has this team found their brojo? The bear costumes were a huge hit on and off the fields as well as your Irish car bomb. I give you extra points for playing your entire game in your costumes. You guys definitely didn’t brocrastinate when it came to formulating your theme week idea. However, spending $70 per bear costume kind of defeats the purpose of earning the $100 bar tab. Womp womp. At least you have bragging rights now. (5 points) Running Total = 5 points

While the $100 bar tab victory is fantastic, that was not at the top of the list of brotivating factors for our appearance last week. Our bar attendance level has dropped from last season, and on the field it has felt a bit like we have been just going through the brotions. These are unacceptable changes. We needed to step things up, and get back in the fight. It was also good to see Scott, Whit and Chuck join in the Bear Fight at the bar.

I appreciate the excuisite brocabulary used in the original post. No bromo.

[B-stein]

I am laughing out loud at my desk from all this brocabulary. Well done on the rankings Josh. And well done to the Brocery Bags for the great showing on the field. Even across the way I was highly entertained.

[Duder]

Did someone on the Brocery Bags actually name themselves bearFight on the message boards? That's ironic because a) one of your captains (I'm looking at you Ducey) refused to take the bearfight offered to him at the bar last week and b) A LIGER (not gonna say who, but it was me) beat all of you clowns in that race.

[patty no pants]

Dammit! I wish I could read between the lines on this one!

[Rule #5: Ur an idiot]

Agreeing with Chuck, you guys are pretty awful at a game you have named yourself after. Hell, Scott, myself, and Chuck all beat you sissys. I guess the main 3 or 4 of you who typically show up do a pretty good job at getting drunk. Seeing as how most of you just turned 21 you damn sure better be able to. However, for right now maybe you should name yourself a more beginner/intermediate name such as..hmmmm....The VaginaQuarrel. Now I have no idea if this is a drinking game, I just thought of out it. But for one, you can come up with the rules..maybe a redheaded slut and a half pint of Smirnoff Ice. You mix the two together and you get pink, just like your shirts!! Very fitting if you ask me and a good start to a promising career in WAKA. Now go out and take on the world VaginaQuarrel!!!

[bearFight]

Did someone on the Brocery Bags actually name themselves bearFight on the message boards? That's ironic because a) one of your captains (I'm looking at you Ducey) refused to take the bearfight offered to him at the bar last week and b) A LIGER (not gonna say who, but it was me) beat all of you clowns in that race.

Not happy about the team's bear fighting committment myself. The one I had with you was my second of the night last week. I go for quantity, not speed. And yeah, you won the race, if it ever really was one. I guess you've had a lot more swallowing practice than I have. I hope you've enjoyed it. I'm sure he did.