Party Rankings - Week 5

[tomcollins]

I saw lots of great things this past week. This week I hope everyone steps it up a notch and I get to see some real shenanigans at the bar. woop woop

1 – The Lemon Party
Wow! What can I say? This team has really come from behind (just like the old men in the lemon party photos online…) The Lemon Party has stepped up their game and brought out the big guns this past week. They somehow managed to be the loudest team at the bar and the rowdiest but still likeable, which is very hard to accomplish. I felt so bad that I didn’t have the heart to tell the girl who flashed me that their team had already gotten first place. On second thought, I think I did tell her and she decided to flash anyway. Those puppies needed to come out sooner or later. Bravo, Lemon Party, bravo. (5 points) Running total = 5 points

2 – Kickin It Old School
The last to leave once again and the only other female member that participated in the ménage a… (what’s it called when there are 5 people?) of boobage. Hmm… maybe I should copyright that term, too. KIOS has been shooting the liquor and feeling all over each other once again this season. To move further up at this point, KIOS will need to start shouting and chanting more or start flashing the second hair-do. You know what I mean. (3 points) Running total = 13 points

3 – Ligers
I love Chuck Dusett. No homo. ‘Nuff said. (1 point) Running total = 2 points

4 – Brocery Bags
Although I’ve heard that this is the biggest competition for Kickin It this season, I have yet to see the debauchery. I’ve heard about this thing called a Bear Fight but have yet to see one in person. Maybe you guys should start befriending your biggest part competition. Haven’t you head the phrase “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” Buy a couple of us some bear fights this week, douche knuckles. Running total = 5 points

5 – Machiavelli
Although this team did not show up to the game this week, they still arrived at the bar with guns loaded. Because of this team, our ménage a (did we figure out what it’s called when five people are involved?) of boobage was more gay than the episode of glee I just watched (which was amazing btw. You guys can’t keep letting one person be the craziest though. I need more people to bring out their jiggly bits, both up and down… Running total = 1 point

6 – En Fuego
One name rings a bell when I think of En Fuego from last week and that name is the beautiful, amazing Kelly (at least I hope that is her name because I would be really embarrassed). Kelly is one hardcore cornhole sluggin, beer chuggin, good girl huggin member of the league. Other than that, nothing notable happened for me. Running total = 8 points

7 – Scared Kickless
One of the core trio that last left Mulligan’s last Thursday. However, when the last member of SK left the bar, I felt like she was wayyyyyy more sober than she should have been. (I put those extra y’s in “way” to put emphasis on the “way”). I would much prefer that she took the amazing Bio Taxi with me home. Get crunk. Running total = 1 point

8 – McLovin Mitts
McLovin brought not only his trench coat to the bar but saw a few more green shirts at the bar this week. Plus, McLovin and I had a couple heart to hearts and he was part of the triad that was last to leave Mully’s. Unfortunately, I want to see some more shots or pitchers being bought and chugged and then some crazy shenanigans. Woopsy daisy. Running total = 0 points

9 – HOFNARs
So, I tried to FACE one member of the team and she declined. However, a good ole boy from her team volunteered himself to get FACED in her place. Afterwards, he said that it was pretty gay. I agree. That’s why this team is higher than normal this week. Participate in more fun league-wide fun things and you may move up even further. P.S. If you don’t know what getting FACED is, come see me this Thursday. P.P.S. You’re playing our team this week so bring those fake hard ons for your shorts this week (girls included) Running total = 0 points

10 – Nine Inch Males
After telling a very straight and very large member of the Nine Inch Males that I would be attracted to him if he were a gay man, I was hoisted up into the air and paraded around. It made me feel good which is why you’re higher on here than some other fan favorites. Kudos. Running total = 0 points

11 – Steele Peters
Although I love almost every single person on this team, I can never remember any of you doing anything memorable at the bar. I’m sorry hard penises but this is about as high as you’ll get until I can actually remember something fun. “We’re the three best friends that anyone could have…” Oh, sorry, I was watching the preview for The Hangover 2. See, I even got distracted just writing your ranking. Boo. Running total = 3 points

12 – I’d Buy That for a Dollar
Although, you brought your team to the bar this week, it was still tame (and from what I’ve heard this team can party like it’s 1969… haha, I had to put one old joke in there). In all honesty, I have heard that you guys throw down and I’d love to see that at the bar sometime! And that one guy has a pretty wicked sweet beard. Dude. Awesomeness. Bring your house parties to the bar this week. Running total = 0 points

13 – Shockers
Were you there last week? I was just joking last week when I was saying you’ve forfeited the party rankings. Come back. We won’t bite… unless you want us to. Running total = 0 points

14 – Lunch at the Y
How quickly they fall… I really expect big things from this team because of your previous rankings. I don’t think you were even at the bar this past week. Bring David and my favorite set of boobs back. Running total = 8 points

[Rule #5: Ur an idiot]

Not disagreeing with your rankings here at all bud, I didn't see much of lemon party but any girl that shows her boobies deserves a sound ranking. That said you may catch more "notable" acts of debauchery if you spent more time in the actual bar instead of the girls bathroom. Everytime I went to take a piss I felt like I saw you running in and out of there like a 5th grade school boy. (nothing wrong with that either of course until one of them drops an unexpected turtlehead)

[tomcollins]

As small as Mully's deck is, I have to say it's difficult seeing everything that happens... but that being said, everyone runs off to City Dogs emo night like it's Christmas morning. Wtf? I would more than love to hang out with you, Whit, if your bromance with the Bbags could handle it... On this message board, you guys are gayer than I am... L: Oh I love you brocery bags. BB: no, i love you ligers.Let's pre-game together. L: Ok, you bring the alcohol. BB: Ok, and then we can suck down some shots...

Haha. Despite that, I do love to see some harmoniousness here on the mb. It's so much better than all of you comparing dick sizes about your football stats or how many runs you've scored. The BB's and Ligers are a nice mash up. I'm thinking maybe your couplehood name should be the Brogers or the Liger Bags. I'm still debating...

[BOXEY]

I'm appalled that our Steele Peters are getting no respect here.. we should be no where near the bottom of this list... grrrrrr, I mean dun nun dun nun dun nun meowhisspurr.

[Ducer]

I prefer Liger Bags.

[peckerslap time!]

Brocery Ligers? Ligbros? This league better watch it, if this ever happens we will dominate EVERYTHING.

[Rule #5: Ur an idiot]

Well Josh if you would stop motorboating titties that you dont even like then maybe we could do a bearfight or two with ya.I figured you would like the bromance over the same boring peckerfights Luke and I use to have with Nate, CJ, and Doug.

In all honesty while I wasn't a part of the original Ligers the Bags are alot like them. They got beat up on the field but got damn near blindsided drunk every single Thursday. While their level of obnoxiousness and Baggery chants aren't quite there yet, trust me, a few of us Ligers will teach them just how easy it is to make everyone's ears bleed and skin crawl when you hear their name. We may even teach Anne Frank a thing or two. Poor guy. Takes so much riducule and the best he can ever come up with is "Roll Tide!" *facepalm*

[bearFight]

Bribery Lags? Ligery Brogers? "Anne Frank gets Peckerslapped"?

Honestly, all the people that are looking for bear fights (and I believe I owe three, two of which are to McLovin and Mel Matthews)... and for us to buy them for you... yeah, we have some new-found disposable income, thanks to Capital One Day Care. But when you blow $300 on 13 bear fights and other stuff and don't even get top three in the party rankings that week, you tend to get a little more sensitive with how you use your wallet. Help us out. Buy bear fights for us, or WITH us... and all will go well. For example... Mulligan's will not sell me Car Bombs and Jaeger Bombs at the same time. Somebody can go buy X car bombs at one end of the bar, and I'll by X at the other end of the bar... and we can meet in the middle. Maybe next time we'll try to use the bar tab we won on Theme Week 1 so I don't feel so po' no mo'. We haven't used that, right?

I'll take a bear fight with anyone, any time.... 3 in a night being my limit, since we continue to pregame pretty hard. Find the fat(test) guy in a pink shirt at Mully's and we'll make it happen. Oh, and you'll probably finish faster than me. I'm over it.

[a wed wose]

Oh, and you'll probably finish faster than me. I'm over it.

That's what she said.

[Ducer]

Pretty sure we spent that bar tab on bear fights as soon as we got it. And we lost as usual.

[peckerslap time!]

Frau Blücher!!! (horse winnies)

[Skirpies]

Oh, and you'll probably finish faster than me. I'm over it.

That's what she said.

That's a hell of a way to enter the message board - Welcome!

[Rule #5: Ur an idiot]

Gardy, you are like a mini Luke in the early stages of Ligerism 5 years ago. The references of the Baggers to the early years of Ligers keep getting better and better. Before you know it you will be arguing with Scott for hours on end about the AU dynasty and why it ruined kickball.

[B-stein]

I'm looking forward to you guys banging it out already tonight, geeze. Let's be honest, Ligers want to take BB behind the middle school and get them pregnant.

[Darkness]

Gardy, you are like a mini Luke in the early stages of Ligerism 5 years ago. The references of the Baggers to the early years of Ligers keep getting better and better. Before you know it you will be arguing with Scott for hours on end about the AU dynasty and why it ruined kickball.

The Ligers ruined kickball. Everybody knows that.

[peckerslap time!]

We ruined EVERYTHING clearly, I think that's well established at this point.

[bearFight]

Please don't take us out behind the middle school and ruin our innocence too.

[Ducer]

Speak for yourself bearFight

[kicker8300]

Shockers put up good numbers at the bar every week... either you don't know who is on our team or our camo getups are actually working. Hurley no more boob grabs for you until you represent!