My apologies sort of for this coming a bit late. Audits and such all week which have dickishly taken my time away from posting rankings. (Who'd a thought I do something else other than GTL all week at work?) Anyways, here they are, if you don't llike it, feel free to rage on me with Jess Stohr at Gus' on Thursday. I accept any and all complaints, thoughts, rants, rambles, and any verbal assault you would like to deliver.
1. Buc Nasty, 1-0-0 No real surprise here or much to talk about. 5 homeruns and a 20 spot keep the Time Haters at the top spot this week. Even if Mother Nature’s gas helped push those balls out a little further than usual. Week 2 and the Rusty Pipes should provide a little more of a challenge though this week for Team Sexual Chocolate.
2. Scared Kickless, 1-0-0 The defending champs started right back where they left off in the spring in Week 1 taking advantage of miscues and belting 4 homeruns b2b2b2b. Given 14 of the runs came in one inning but 16 runs is 16 runs however you want to look at it. With Marty Chinballs back they face in week 2 a formidable and now Springerless opponent in the Duce and the amped up Baggers.
3. Why So Serious, 1-0-0 Maybe my douchetastic comments last week on WSS fired their undercarriages up a bit as they came close to blanking the Rusty Flutes last Thursday. That said, if they play pissyface all year they too should be vying for the Golden Cup….or should I say the Golden (painted plastic) Cup.
4. Brocery Bags, 1-0-0 It looks as if the Baggers finally got sick of Garda’s antics and rambles and decided to deliver an epic nuttap to their former teammate. It appears Duce Frank and the Bagger coalition are on a mission this season and will face their next big test immediately in a still hot SK.
5. 30 Seconds, 0-2-0 The Golden Boombox took a bit of a plunge this week after dropping two back to back. Regardless of what happened last week I feel they will bounce back against a very new The Dude. With 2 former MVP’s and a few seasoned vets this team will more than likely get back on a winning track, even if one of them is bipolar and depressed momentarily.
6. Rusty Trombones, 0-1-0 I am still assuming this team is comprised of some spring Golden RKelly Squirters, therefore they won’t drop much further quite yet. Depending on how pissed off WSS was Thursday, and it sounds like they were, I will chalk the first week up to the Tbones being “rusty”, womp womppppppp. Week 2 won’t be any easier when they face the stickiest of the icky in Buc Nasty.
7. KIOS 1-0-0 Cock, shit, balls, fuck you Whit, you suck for giving us such shitty rankings!!!...is all I heard from Jess Stohr and fellow KIOS members when I got to Gus’ Thursday night. A couple things I can appreciate in this, 1. You have a fire in your ass to actually fair well this season rather than just fist pump it out to sandstorm all night. 2. You seem just fine missing some key ingredients that is the typical makeup of KIOS. So well done. That said though, simmer the fuck down Jess, you raging ass. (hahaha, love ya)
8. Colonel Angus 1-0-0 Not a lot of movement from the UN here because they didn’t really do anything last week to move. No fault of their own due to Team Butterfly and the Sombreros not fielding a team. With a few vets coming back such as Erin D, this team should be amped up and ready to get their visa’s worth. Time will tell as they face a demoralized 3Kicks looking to rebound.
9. Hot Assets 0-0-1 Team Pink Franzen has gotten this team on the right track with defense as they blanked NIM. Only problem is they got blanked themselves. As the season progresses we will see if this team of newbies will vie for the top half of the leaderboard. They need to learn that thing called offense though, and of course drink more wine. They get Team AngryFace this week. They win that one, they are sure to head north on the standings.
10. NIM 0-0-1 You guys drop considerably as you should since you couldn’t tack on ANYTHING against a team comprised of mainly newbies. Given Team Franzen was leading the charge and I can only imagine what was being yelled at the ageless Olsen. That can be difficult for any team. Regardless you all should be use to verbal slander and harassment. Moving forward I expect you guys to fight your way back to the top with your mascot, the Egg Harvesting Zernie, an excuse filled Nate, and the King of all Gingers, The Squirrelmaster. For now though you sit towards the bottom until I am proven wrong.
11. Justin Thyme 0-1-0 These guys dropped a bit as they lost a tough one to what I thought was a depleted KIOS. There is two things to be considered here. Either KIOS is juicing this year in efforts to make a run for the grand prize, or Woody hasn’t gotten his team’s ducks in a row. I think a little of both but I expect Justin T to work their way back up. Next test is against a stunned NIM with babies on board.
12. The Dude Abides 0-1-0 This is what happens when a little dodgeball and the Avett Bros. get in the way. Forfeits. Who knows what direction this team is headed in or if they will even care. Their first and foremost purpose is to have fun and get drunk which is fine, but you have to at least show up at the fields in order to do so. They sit at the back of the bus with Ms. Parks and the Kids of Venturecard until further notice.
13. 3 Kicks Mafia 0-1-0 You guys are pretty much tied with the Dude in this so don’t take offense. You had a hell of a first match in Team Minks of Pubic Hair. It will lighten up considerably this week with the UN. I’ll keep an eye out on this game to see if you guys can regroup.
So, there ya have it. If ya want it to change then learn how to play this playground sport. Its a red ball you kick and catch. Not a high degree of difficulty.
On a more personal note I look forward to meeting alot of you newbies. I was absent last week due to my desire to ladykill in the dodgeball arena. Also a huge thanks to all that helped with reffing last week. I heard it went very well which is a big help to Petros and myself. Keep up the good work! See you guys tomorrow!